So K has been away from home for three weeks now.
I've been up to Manchester to see her three times and now Christmas is looming.
I'm still struggling financially and emotionally.
I have managed to agree a 4-day return to home for Christmas with her doctor and am now faced with the monumentus financial and logistical challenge of getting her home for Christmas.
As the trip takes 5 hours each way and can be quite stressful with train changes, using the tram and finding taxis I am at the moment considering the best way to do this whilst avoiding as much stress and anxiety to her.
The very nature of her illness means that she really struggles with crowds.
Her current mental state means that she is very aware of security cameras and people watching her so I am trying to find a way to transport her home as gently as possible.
Anyone who has ever been to Manchester Picadilly train station will know that it is a huge station with hundreds of people making journeys.
I think the best way to get her home would be to travel mid-morning so that we avoid the commuters and the station and the trains will be a bit quieter.
The problem with this is that it is impossible to do this in one day so I need to stay in Manchester overnight and bring her home the next morning.
I've done some calculations this morning and the whole journey- bringing her home on Friday the 22nd and then taking her back on the 27th will cost in all £360.
This is the room overnight and train travel for the two of us and doesn't take into account any taxi's, food and drink or any other expenses.
I'm still accumulating my train tickets for the journeys I've taken so far, the carer Assessment advisor has found a charity that has a grant I can apply for up to £500, and I've borrowed money from my sister to visit yesterday I'm yet to have enough tickets to submit my application for help and I have bills that have gone unpaid this month to enable me to visit her. So I'm in a position of if and when this grant is paid do I use this money to pay my outstanding bills or do I use this money to bring her home for Christmas?
I feel completely hopeless at the moment
I haven't bought any Christmas gifts for the people that I love because there is no money.
So in desperation, I have set up a Just Giving page. I really didn't want to do this because firstly, it's embarrassing having to ask complete strangers for help, secondly because I've always provided everything that my children need and thirdly because I want to protect Ks identity in the community where we live.
But with two and a half weeks to Christmas, I'm getting desperate, I cannot do Christmas without my child, this isn't even an option.
You can donate here on my Just Giving Page. Any support would be much appreciated.
You can read about Ks admission to a hospital 225 miles away here